Uñt’ayata: 02.01.2022
The cabin on our ferry is tiny. But just big enough for two narrow beds, a wardrobe, a TV, and a bathroom. What more do we need? We even have a window. There is a crazy wind blowing on deck and the sun is burning. The food is okay, of course in buffet form, and we sit in a way that we can see the sunset. We read and I also have to work, even make a phone call. My own router makes it possible without any problems. In between, we cuddle and watch TV. Until late in the evening. It's the federal elections in Germany and surprisingly the SPD wins the most votes. We don't know if our ballots have arrived. The Finnish mail doesn't seem to work as efficiently as we would have liked. But we still voted. You always have a choice. Always. It's just not clear what you get and if you like it. Being a little vulnerable always remains. Even in our self-determined, seemingly free life.
We cuddle up on Chris' narrow bed. It's warm and cozy. The ship is too big to sway. But everything feels like it's swaying. Many memories in my head and heart. What remains is the two of us. And the bus, down in the belly of the ferry? Will we keep it? Who knows.
When we arrive in Travemünde, our hearts are heavy. It's late at night, luckily the clocks can be set back one hour. Germany is ahead of us. Haven't been here for a long time. Almost forgotten what it's like, sometimes almost forgetting that it is. We return from a dream. Which was of course completely different from reality. And which will remain different in our memory than it was. It's always just the present. The past and the future don't belong to us and are only constructs of what we want to see, what we allow ourselves. Here we have a lot of power. In the present, we are vulnerable. Contributors and creators but also very, very limited. Because we cannot change the present. It is what it is. Our only possibility to shape it lies in our perspective. In our decision on how to evaluate the present. Whether we accept it, shape it, or reject it and withdraw from it. Since we can't do that, it becomes a struggle. So it's better not to resist. But to participate, find something good and contribute. In the here and now. Then yesterday will be a wonderful memory. And we have many of those now. A lot!
The ship docks and unloads quickly. We race through the night. There are still several hours until Senftenberg. Chris will safely take us there. As always. We keep going, our journey is only taking a small pause.