Dagmar
Nur kein Stress mein Lieber, du wirst es schon schaffen, du kannst dir ja im notfall ein Auto mieten!!!!!!!!!! Tihchhuah a ni: 01.09.2017
... Oh no, only one week left until the start.
Yep, you read that right, 'My anxiety is rising!!!!'
At least that's how it feels right now when I think about the hike. And once again, I hear the voice asking me why I'm doing this in the first place. But now I also hear a voice asking 'how do we get out of this situation?'.
Well, I would say we can't, and why should I cancel now? I've invested a ton of money in equipment, sweated blood and water during the preparation, and told everyone, whether they wanted to hear it or not, what a great hero I am for going hiking all alone. I can't get out of this anymore - by the way, I don't want to either. These are more like automatic thoughts or protective reflexes that make me think like that.
So, one more week and I'll quickly forget about the anxiety.
In one week it starts! What is actually going through my head right now?
Oh, I have to tell you about my dream last night. It was the first dream related to the hike. First of all, I was hiking in France. Well, that can happen, why not? I passed by the destination and ended up somewhere completely different, which of course shouldn't happen. What a mess, my hotel is already reserved but not where I am. So I have to go back. But how? Oh man, terrible. But what was even worse was that I couldn't remember hiking. How stupid is that? I was on schedule, albeit at the wrong goal, and I didn't know how and where I walked, but I was on schedule. Pretty stupid. Oh by the way, I didn't use my super duper GPS. I turned it on only at the wrong place and had to realize that the route was not yet loaded.
What do we learn from such dreams? 'Check YOUR GPS while you're still at home'.
What's going through my head? A few days ago, the main concern was that it might rain. In the meantime, that has been replaced by 'what food do I take with me on the way?'. Oh no, if I burn more calories than I consume, that could go wrong. I can't just live off power bars, gels, and the reserves around my hips alone.
And will I get out of bed in the morning? I will definitely get out, but whether it's early enough, that's the question, and it's the one that concerns me the most. Hm, that has to work out easily, otherwise the whole plan won't work. Oops, a new thought suddenly arises. I start and stress myself out!!!! I feel like I will run through the woods like a crazy person, and the effect, of getting away from stress, is now down the drain. But, why did I learn to observe myself in order to counteract such dangers? It will work out, I'm sure of it.
Well, for today I've written my anxiety off my chest and shared it with you, dear readers. And already I feel better, thank you!
Feel free to check back in the coming days. There will surely be another post before my departure. By the way, there are still about 9043 minutes until departure in Frankfurt.