Im Kojteich
Im Kojteich
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Tokyo - Full Fat

Avaldatud: 21.05.2023

A City Like Apple Pie 🥧

It's Tuesday, and I'm exhausted. My own fault, no sympathy. I knew exactly what I was doing when I ate a lot late last night. Plus, I worked in front of the screen until midnight. The American guy loudly talking to his mother on speaker at 06:00 doesn't help either.

After getting ready, I go back to the train. Today I'm going to sumo wrestling. The Sumo Grand Championships are currently taking place. Personally, it's too bulky for me, I call them the Sumo Masters.

In the train, I take a seat in one of the available seats. I like the seating arrangement here. Benches along the walls, aisle is free. Perfect for high turnover. But also perfect for simply looking straight ahead out of the window, letting the landscape pass by. The city has something of an apple crumble cake.
Why? It's completely up my alley; the landscape in the form of buildings has the most diverse variations, colors, shapes, and sizes and it's still pleasant to look at. And it's sweetened by nature, namely trees and plants along the entire route. There will only be a few sections on the 25-minute ride where there is no green to be seen; train stations and construction sites. Very pleasant for such a big city.

I arrive at the destination station. The first interesting thing I will see, I have only seen as a moving image before. A 1.5 m * 1.5 m cabin. It's a workspace that you can rent by the hour. Some of them even have a coffee machine inside.

Even before I see the photo of the sumo wrestlers in the train station, I can already hear the traditional wooden sandals. I turn around, the massive figures are already walking past me. Colorful in their kimonos and with their phones in hand, they represent exactly what has always fascinated me about Japan. Modern high-tech and traditional culture in one.

As I step out of the train station, I realize: it's hot. Very hot. 'After a little while in the sun, my phone refuses to take photos'-hot.

During a short break on a bench in front of the arena, a well-dressed Japanese man in his 60s, with a fedora hat, comes up to me. I was deep in thought, so he surprised me. He seems excited and delighted, a true fan boy. He hands me his small camera, he doesn't speak English. But we understand each other anyway; he wants a photo of himself with the arena tower. I accommodate his wishes, he thanks me happily, then heads into the arena. This man has handed the steering wheel over to his inner child; love to see it. :)

It takes a while for me to figure out the seating system and navigate through the Japanese instructions. Then I go up to my seat. From up here, they look small, but since I'm not a fan, that's totally okay.

Fights are happening like an assembly line - one shot one opportunity. If you make a mistake, you just have to get better next time. And here the motto is: What beats fat? Even more fat. The small ones are naturally at a disadvantage, it's wrestling after all. Yes, there are also technically skilled exceptions, and they are a true delight for technique lovers. You can't get through without technique; size isn't everything, technique matters a bit too. But they don't sell 5 cm dildos either, so...
As a referee on the sidelines, you also have to be fearless. A few of the sumos fall or stumble into the front row, it's truly not fun.

Just... Be quiet 🤐

I'm sitting next to a local, and there's only one couple nearby, probably Americans or Aussies. Probably, because I only hear them, I didn't look at them when I entered. She whispers, he talks in a normal volume; which is already inappropriate in the current situation. It's a different atmosphere than at a baseball game. The sound here is a mix of silence, a murmur when a sumo falls into a referee (yup, happens often), and applause after a fight, if at all. And between the fights, the master of ceremonies in the ring chants a sing-song. I have absolutely no idea what it means, but it has its ritualized place here.

The social idiot behind me makes fun of it, does an impression of 'The Lion King'. The famous 'Naaaaaants ingonyama, bagithi Baba', Circle of Life. Like a leaking water pipe, he can't stop babbling, it's annoying. Like one of those bad joke books, he throws one bad comment after another towards his girlfriend. I feel myself getting restless, my thoughts are spinning. I'm slowly boiling with anger. Then comes the famous last straw. Downstairs, the master of ceremonies announces the transition to the next fight, and the joker does his Lion King impression again. It wasn't funny the first time, now it's enough.

I take the pacifier out of my mouth, in the form of a toothpick, turn around and look at him. He sits behind me with his legs wide open, sunglasses in his neckline, a few weight classes above me, so he's towering over me.
Well, fear is just an information deficit, a deficit of experiences. Time to deposit some experiences in this treasure trove, that's why I'm here.

I don't bother hiding my annoyance, but I remain friendly. Well, friendly but firm. I ask him to please be quiet and show the necessary respect.
I refrain from pointing out that he is only a guest in this country and that such behavior conveys exactly the image of a typical, inconsiderate tourist. Even though he takes it friendly on the surface, when I turn around, I can feel his piercing gaze very clearly.

There are people who simply can't keep their mouths shut. They have an insatiable need to communicate. If the inability to assess social situations is added to that...
I don't know what he's dealing with, but he can't stay quiet for three minutes, after a short time he starts talking again. This time at least in a lower voice, but still. A douchebag candidate. I feel my system being confronted, a slight trembling in my thighs. Fight or flight, that's the name of the game. 10 minutes later, both of them leave the venue, thankfully.

I watch fights for an hour. It's a cool experience, but I don't need to keep doing it for hours on end. Even if the champions start later, it's probably not worth it. Don't waste your life waiting, make something out of it.

Outside the sumo entrance, there's still a fan boy who has been here for two hours already. He applauds all the passing fighters. Now that's a fan.


Writings on the Wall 🎴

On my way home, I pass by a park. Nice here. Usually, the lake is also suitable for boats, but not today.

I will spend a few more minutes in train stations and notice a few things that I like. A mirror, so you don't unexpectedly bump into someone on the stairs; makes sense.

An exit plan that shows where things are located at each station - indicated by the car number. Nice.

And lastly, the posters. One warns against gropers.

One warns against falling onto the tracks due to the phone or drunkenness; nicely displayed through icons.

Even in Japan, there's the grandchild scam.

And my favorite: eKids
An offering from one of the railway companies for the parents of school children. When your child checks in at a ticket gate, you'll be notified on your phone. And, if I understood correctly, there are apparently such automated checkpoints at schools as well. Whether it happens at school by tapping the commuter card or by geolocation check-in through the phone, I have no idea.


Vastus

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